And the Walls Came Tumbling Down

Ancient civilizations constructed barricades around their cities to keep invaders out. The famous Berlin Wall was erected in the midst of political upheaval and ideological differences, tearing families apart in the process as the communists separated East and West Germany. 

Walls do not need to be made of bricks and mortar to achieve the same results of protection and/or alienation. Many of us build emotional barriers to keep others at bay or to protect ourselves from our true feelings.

“Downsizing the Spiritual Way” is a facebook group developed as an online support and study of  Marianne Williamson’s book "A Course in Weight Loss." In Lesson One she explains how  people have difficulty letting go of experiences that are designed for growth. It’s as though there is a faulty release valve in the processing system and we hold on to the sentiments associated with the event instead of learning, then releasing. In the past I ignored and suppressed the thoughts and memories that caused pain. In doing so, I stopped the natural process for those to be transformed. Some people eat, others drink, have sex, shop, etc as a means of avoiding these feelings.

Over time we build a fortification to protect us from the emotions, mine was in the form of excess weight. Each element in this fortress we’ve erected has an association such as shame, fear, inferiority, pride, anger, judgment, pressure, burden, stress, heartbreak, injustice, etc that causes separation from ourselves and others. Marianne’s exercise calls for us to analyze each block to understand what caused it, how we’ve hidden behind it and whether or not it continues to have relevance in our lives. Dredging up memories and facing unresolved issues is deep and powerful processing. When finished, you work in tandem with your Higher Power to release and dismantle each brick to eventually tear down the wall.

When the walls come tumbling down though, there is no longer any place to hide.  The storage compartments are gone requiring emotions to be processed immediately. My goal is to no longer stuff the feelings, but express them in the moment. Staying in the present forces you to evaluate every thought or experience- learn from it and then release it. Staying focused on the here and now keeps recollections in the past, attached to those original events, unable to cast a shadow on the issues at hand.

 I’m still in the process of taking down my barrier. What I have found is that I have to look at each element multiple times, uncovering deeper layers with each pass. Like real walls, these emotional ones are built strong and have lasted over time. This is not a structure that can be blasted with dynamite, but requires careful disassembling. It was built from fear but will be replaced with love. Being gentle with myself and remembering that this is a journey, helps me chip away slowly but surely at those bricks made of memories.

Becky Arrington guides individuals and businesses to discover their purpose and live authentically. Whether you’re a company looking for innovative ways to lead and engage employees or an individual trying to prioritize, reduce stress or decide what you want to be when you grow up, learning to accept and thrive in change is key.