And the Walls Came Tumbling Down

Ancient civilizations constructed barricades around their cities to keep invaders out. The famous Berlin Wall was erected in the midst of political upheaval and ideological differences, tearing families apart in the process as the communists separated East and West Germany. 

Walls do not need to be made of bricks and mortar to achieve the same results of protection and/or alienation. Many of us build emotional barriers to keep others at bay or to protect ourselves from our true feelings.

“Downsizing the Spiritual Way” is a facebook group developed as an online support and study of  Marianne Williamson’s book "A Course in Weight Loss." In Lesson One she explains how  people have difficulty letting go of experiences that are designed for growth. It’s as though there is a faulty release valve in the processing system and we hold on to the sentiments associated with the event instead of learning, then releasing. In the past I ignored and suppressed the thoughts and memories that caused pain. In doing so, I stopped the natural process for those to be transformed. Some people eat, others drink, have sex, shop, etc as a means of avoiding these feelings.

Over time we build a fortification to protect us from the emotions, mine was in the form of excess weight. Each element in this fortress we’ve erected has an association such as shame, fear, inferiority, pride, anger, judgment, pressure, burden, stress, heartbreak, injustice, etc that causes separation from ourselves and others. Marianne’s exercise calls for us to analyze each block to understand what caused it, how we’ve hidden behind it and whether or not it continues to have relevance in our lives. Dredging up memories and facing unresolved issues is deep and powerful processing. When finished, you work in tandem with your Higher Power to release and dismantle each brick to eventually tear down the wall.

When the walls come tumbling down though, there is no longer any place to hide.  The storage compartments are gone requiring emotions to be processed immediately. My goal is to no longer stuff the feelings, but express them in the moment. Staying in the present forces you to evaluate every thought or experience- learn from it and then release it. Staying focused on the here and now keeps recollections in the past, attached to those original events, unable to cast a shadow on the issues at hand.

 I’m still in the process of taking down my barrier. What I have found is that I have to look at each element multiple times, uncovering deeper layers with each pass. Like real walls, these emotional ones are built strong and have lasted over time. This is not a structure that can be blasted with dynamite, but requires careful disassembling. It was built from fear but will be replaced with love. Being gentle with myself and remembering that this is a journey, helps me chip away slowly but surely at those bricks made of memories.

Becky Arrington guides individuals and businesses to discover their purpose and live authentically. Whether you’re a company looking for innovative ways to lead and engage employees or an individual trying to prioritize, reduce stress or decide what you want to be when you grow up, learning to accept and thrive in change is key.

Stop Dreaming and Start Moving!

How many days does it take to make a change, or break a habit? After making a move last week to put my condo on the market in Indianapolis, I felt compelled to make some changes on the home front as well. Like the beagle in the photo, each morning I would lie in bed thinking I should get up and walk.  I am a firm believer of manifesting and knowing your thoughts create. Years ago when I broke my foot and couldn’t exercise, I read “The Inner Game of Tennis” and thought constantly about my tennis game and what I would do once I was able to get back on the court. My skills were decidedly better after playing so many strategic matches in my head. However in this case, my slumbered walks were not getting the body moving.

I am on my third day of getting up early. I’m usually a 9:30 a.m. riser, some days later depending on how late I was up the night before.  To avoid the heat, I’ve been  walking the dog three miles around the lake and neighborhood early in the morning.  Actually my husband says it is 2 7/8ths, but I say it’s close enough to three to call it. There are some advantages. I’m meeting my neighbors who are also out walking their dogs, but since I am such a Chatty Cathy it makes a 45 minute excursion more like an hour and 15 minutes. My post-menopausal acne has cleared up from the sweat pouring down my face, nothing like an early morning sauna. I’m going to bed at a decent hour instead of staying up half the night.  And I’m ready to begin working by 10:00 a.m. when in my previous schedule that was when I was just having my coffee.

Unfortunately this is not my first foray into exercise or an attempt to start a new routine. As my pattern goes, I do well for about a week then begin to taper off, eventually stopping altogether. I need a compelling reason besides the obvious ones like losing weight, getting healthy, adopting a more balanced life, etc to keep going. I would like to think those are reasons enough to be good to myself and follow through, but self-sabotage often takes the upper hand.

The only rational  I can think of that will consistently get me awake, moving and out on the walking trail is the sight of Bebe the Beagle. Looking up with pleading eyes as I lie in bed, imploring me to get up, she's hard to resist.  I am her only link to the rest of the world and she lives for those walks. Looks like being a dedicated dog owner trumps my desire for health consciousness in terms of motivation, but no matter if the results are the same. It’s a win for everybody, thanks Bebe.



Join our Facebook support group "Downsizing the Spiritual Way" where we are doing a book study of Marianne Williamson's book "A Course in Weight Loss" as well as sharing ways we are finding to approach the process of weight loss differently, from the inside out this time. It starts with your mind. This is a private group, if interested please ask to join. Our next conference call is Wednesday June 13th 8:00 p.m. ET.



Becky Arrington guides individuals and businesses to discover their purpose and live authentically. Whether you’re a company looking for innovative ways to lead and engage employees or an individual trying to prioritize, reduce stress or decide what you want to be when you grow up, learning to accept and thrive in change is key.