T is for Tolerance...Reflections on Gay Pride 2012

As I was watching the Gay Pride parade from the corner of Peachtree and 10^th in Atlanta, I was struck by how far the movement had come. Thousands of people lined the streets; gay, straight, lesbian, transgendered, bi-sexual, a-sexual, dogs, cats, kids, conservatives, liberals all in support of diversity.

How can there still be intolerance and in some cases, actual hate, when so much progress has been made? How can we still deny basic rights to couples? If so many people come out in support, why can’t we pass a marriage amendment ? Try to imagine what it would be like to have a loved one in the hospital and you’re unable to visit or make important decisions because you’re not legally married. A scenario few actually consider when they adamantly oppose gay marriage.

Although the parade was still a Mardi Gras atmosphere of campy drag queens, dykes on bikes,  skimpily clad fly boys and leather wearing macho men, there was another contingency represented…corporate America.  Coca-Cola, Delta, Frito Lay, Whole Foods, General Motors, JC Penney, Newell Rubbermaid, Turner Broadcasting, CNN, UPS, AT&T, Wells Fargo and Home Depot were among some of the corporate groups represented.  Hooray it’s going mainstream, yet I had to question if their participation was in true support of gay rights or had they tapped into a strong consumer demographic? In fairness, most had  large groups of workers who were marching loud and proud, but the Frito Lay presence was merely a large cheetah walking alongside a gigantic logoed truck handing out snack packs. It seemed like blatant pandering for future sales( although with further research I did find out they were a sponsor of the festival) but it was in sharp contrast to the exuberant UPS employees who were clearly marching for their own personal choices, not to further the spoils of their employer.

The day was filled with touching moments; a huge group of LGBT youth filling the streets; white cloaked angels carrying pictures of people who had suffered and died at the hand of others for their beliefs and lifestyle; hundreds of parents from PFLAG celebrating their son’s and daughter’s diversity, many churches  and religious organizations, and my own personal favorite The Gay Fathers of Atlanta. I’ve spent the last 10+ years working with this group as a leader in the Straight Spouse Network and later as a supporter of families in transition.

 In 1994 my husband of 17 years came out to me. Suddenly thrust down the rabbit hole of disbelief and change, my children and I slowly made the climb out as we came to realize how difficult owning that decision was for him. At the time it would have been far easier to lead a secret life. He had no choice in being gay, the choice was in being honest about his feelings and life, no matter how that affected others. 

I hope in the future there will be no need for a Gay Pride Parade, that the same rights and liberties will be afforded to all and there are no differences. The options others make in their personal lives have no bearing on mine. Even when my husband’s decision did affect my life, I lovingly accepted him, although sometimes kicking and screaming. I honor his choice and his courage to make it.

In the ABCs of life,  along with T for Tolerance, I am also asking you to embrace the letter A for allowance.  Try to adopt a more accepting stance and allow others to make their own decisions, even if you don’t agree. Let’s give everyone the legal right to live and love the people they choose.

 

Becky Arrington guides individuals and businesses to discover their purpose and live authentically. Whether you’re a company looking for innovative ways to lead and engage employees or an individual trying to prioritize, reduce stress or decide what you want to be when you grow up, learning to accept and thrive in change is key.

www.channelforchange.com